Sjoe, there are so many things going right! Right this second the thing that is impressing me is learning that "A relationship is built on trust" is a phrase that is vilely, disgustingly, putridifyingly, irritatingly, suckily, annoyingly passive. Spit! Dan Savage, as always brilliant because he agrees with me incessantly, points out that in order to build trust with someone who is jealous, you give them the power. They control you and you submit to their control with the trust that they are working towards letting you have that other relationship that you need to fulfill whatever need it is you are looking to be filled. They learn to trust you with babysteps, and you learn if they will abuse their power to deprive you of what you need. This is the truncated version. See Dan for details. :)
Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions ... To be fair - it's difficult to think of a non-self-defining feminist woman as anything but a tool of the patriarchy. I have to concentrate on the fact that even though a woman would not call herself a feminist, she would never endorse footbinding (to name a radical example) and it doesn't necessarily mean she is a doormat either. In fact, some of my favorite women scorn my feminism and hate it when they are judged solely on their marital status or gender. Ironically if you look at films made during the so-called liberal 60s and 70s you will see that movies align the woman's role less to what is happening politically in the big wide world and more to what is happening in pornography. The rise of the snuff movie mirrored the rise of violence towards women in the movies, serial killer paradise. Pornography always centers on the woman - probably in an attempt to hide the size of the penis. From my perspective, I am less un...
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By exchanging power in a situation where people in a jealous relationship it hands responsibility to each other, saying, "I trust that you won't abuse my faith." The hard part is once someone abuses that trust, you ask yourself, "Is this a dealbreaker for me?" or, "Is this time a dealbreaker for me?"
So, yes that consciousness is what we need at all times, like you say, you generate your conduct and you take responsibility for how you conduct yourself. But once the heart is handed over, the other person has to actively receive it and be gentle with it. Active. Nê?