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How-to argue

  • set a goal that is not 'get the other to admit they are wrong'
  • LOVE - Listen, Observe body language, Verify their point, Empathise even if you don't agree
  • find common ground
  • take a break before you argue
  • agree on small points, defer the bigger points
  • compliment the other
  • acknowledge that the other is allowed to feel what they feel
  • don't raise your voice
  • "What is it about you are feeling that I don't understand"
  • if you are wrong you can't afford to lose your temper, if you are right, you can
  • discuss, don't argue
  • agree to disagree, we don't have to agree
  • just because you are quiet doesn't mean you are peaceful
  • in an emotional argument, hug the person and reassure
  • "I don't want to fight. (NOT BUT) I need to tell you something that's concerning me"
  • it's better to be happy than right
  • don't keep score of past arguments

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