Flying Shortbread

I like mine better... Froglet: ROFLMFAO? Roll Over Fuckhead and Leave Me the Fuck Alone Olready? Grin. Ruplestilt: ROFLMFAO = Rolling on floor laughing my f*ing ass off

It's like genes are to biology what memes are to sociology. Well semiotics is kinda like the study of memes. Semiotics assumes linguistic principles in everything - and my thing that I like is how movie construction is like a language, a visual language, with linguistic units, that become slang and get passed around like sluts.

TeenyPen lives in Texas, and has been to South Africa and loved it. He is writing a gender critical critique of the Bible: I wrote: Oh my goodness, that's brilliant. I am looking forward to your book. You are being cagey about the title I guess it's not settled yet, so I guess I shouldn't press you. I have filled it into my iCal (digital calendar) to remind me in 2 years time to check for it. It impresses me when people actually do something, like you. Cape Town is great. People are so open and sharing, if you know them. And the culture stuff is good too. And there is no more beautiful place in South Africa, unless you like desert. My favorite places are north. It's quiet and the roads are open and there are no people. Now and then you see strange looking bushes. People are helpful and don't try to take advantage of you. There's little or no racism up there, people have lived together, sharing minimal resources for decades, and it's made them generous. ...

Ruplestilt: ...is that if feminists did indeed open up and allow me in, and come to the realisation that men are indeed not ALL the same ... Froglet: Ditto (feminist) women. Ruplestilt: ...then the foundation of an often very deep-rooted belief system has been seriously shaken ... and this is something that is much, much harder to deal with than to keep holding onto the notion that all men are assholes. Froglet: As difficult for (sexist) men to deal with the notion that all women are not (and I intend the crude reference) assholes. (Ooh, that was aggressive, can I take it back?) I am actually in a wonderful mood and couldn't resist the parry.

(I was on top form the whole weekend, I was looking at myself astounded by my giftful gabbing). After Brokeback Mountain we went into Cappuccino's and had a coffee before going home. They have this circular smoking area. (I don't smoke but I prefer the vibe in the smoking areas, all those other verkrampte, "Eeeee, the secondhand smoke is killing me" whiners can sit together in the boring section if they want to). The smoking room opens without a door onto the outside of the restaurant (this is important for the next bit of the story... that there is a cave-like element to this layout, although not the design of the place.) But I didn't know that the movie was so long and I thought they were packing up the tables at, like, ten o'clock (it was closer to midnight). But no matter, the place where we were sitting was open and not-lock-upable) and the chairs built-in so I let them take the table and everything. But still the waiters hung around. Eventually the sig...

Ruplestilt TOE-CRUNCHING is an easier letter to respond to. I have Pisces in the 6th House which governs competence. And it is remarkable how many ideas we have in common ('selfish' notion). And how strangely differing the ones we don't agree on are ('titling' notion). Do you think that the ones we have in common are Astrological and the ones we don't are Genderal? I am a Libran, don't puke. I am fortunate that my Libran tendencies are mediated by my Gemini moon rising, and the cat-o-nine-tails universe I live in, cheerfully. I was also grinning. You can't just go around naming new friends by who is gushing on you. My goodness, have some discretion, man. I compliment where compliment is due, I am not shy. I know what hard work it took for you to think like you do, that you are even prepared to engage the issue is HUGE. Now prepare yourself, I am going to share my beliefs, but you will have to consider very hard if you are going to punish me for...

I love to read. But when I go into that world, I don't want to be thrown back into my chair every two minutes. I want to stay there and be there till the end of the book. I buy really thick books so that the end is delayed. What would be more convenient is if they wrote online into blogs for years until they died. I think John Irving should consider doing this, and Stephen King. That way I could wait until they died, quit my job and start reading. That is doing it to the max. What frustrates me is that when Homegirl sees my face behind a book, she will come into the room every two minutes and ask me something until I give up reading the book. So in defence I read books that are interruptible, non-fiction, bitty things. A novel is just too traumatic.

"Staging a persona" is such a good way of putting it. "It's not Tourette's, it's 'staging a persona'."

Just as it has been done for years in Hollywood, the roll of the black male in this movie is quickly reduced to that of weakness and ignorance. At every turn, the black man is portrayed as either powerless or out of control (Howard) while the white man gets away with murder, and more specifically in Dillon's case, saves the day (that is, saves the life of a black women he initially harasses both racially and sexually). Furthermore Dillon's cop character is classic American myth! Although it is established early on that he is deeply flawed, it is ultimately suggested that his sins are to be forgiven due to his heroics. Because Dillon's character is never held accountable for his repugnance and moreover in the end romanticized, "Crash" does more to uphold the subconscious structures of white supremacy than destroy them. Nate Mezmer

And if anyone reading this believes that gay men can actually become ex-gay men, I have just one question for you: Would you want your daughter to marry one? Evangelical Christians seem sincere in their desire to help build healthy, lasting marriages. Well, if that's their goal, encouraging gay men to enter into straight marriages is a peculiar strategy. Every straight marriage that includes a gay husband is one Web-browser-history check away from an ugly divorce. Dan Savage If not, you believe that homosexuality is innate, and that the homosexual cannot 'decide' to be heterosexual.

Newspapers, who are complaining about falling ratings, should think about this. Mediabistro and Savage were discussing that some or other newspaper censored a Doonesbury comic because it mentioned masturbation. If you don't have anything in your paper that's going to upset a five-year-old then 35-year-olds are going to look elsewhere for the kind of writing that appeals to them and speaks to them...I think the comics page is really the bellwether of the health of the daily newspaper. Dan Savage

What would happen, if, just because, one replaced a word with 'pants' in some of the Star Wars dialogue? We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down. The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts. I find your lack of pants disturbing. Many Bobans died to bring us these pants. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it. Han will have those pants down. We’ve got to give him more time! General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault. I used to bulls-eye womp rats in my pants back home. TK-421... Why aren’t you in your pants? Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants. You are unwise to lower your pants. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board. You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark. Luke... H...

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. All bombs...

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station... A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory A closed mouth gathers no foot. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking A day without sunshine is like, night. A fool and his money are soon partying. A little inaccuracy saves a lot of explanation. A penny saved is worthless. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. All things being equal, fat people use more soap. Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. Atheism is a non-prophet organization Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. Employme...

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? And whose cruel idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”? Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs? Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they get back too? Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays? Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? How can there be self-help groups? How come you never hear about gruntled employees? How do you tell if you run out of invisible ink? How is it possible to have a civil war? How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t ...

A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson. Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee. Any sufficiently complicated technology is indistinguishable from bad karma. Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you’ve been kicked in the head like this before. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the “whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is” group. Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill. Happiness is merely the...

“Cleaning up the dining area” means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s home page to your bookmarks. You have a “to-do list” that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents. Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains. You consider 2nd day Air Delivery and Inner-office Mail painfully slow. You assume any question about whether to valet park or not is rhetorical. You refer to your flat filing cabinet as “the dining room table.” Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes. Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don’t even exist anymore. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process. You get all excited when it’s Saturday so you can wear sweats to work. Y...

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as '...