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Repartee with a homophobe about Brokeback Mountain

(I was on top form the whole weekend, I was looking at myself astounded by my giftful gabbing). After Brokeback Mountain we went into Cappuccino's and had a coffee before going home. They have this circular smoking area. (I don't smoke but I prefer the vibe in the smoking areas, all those other verkrampte, "Eeeee, the secondhand smoke is killing me" whiners can sit together in the boring section if they want to). The smoking room opens without a door onto the outside of the restaurant (this is important for the next bit of the story... that there is a cave-like element to this layout, although not the design of the place.)

But I didn't know that the movie was so long and I thought they were packing up the tables at, like, ten o'clock (it was closer to midnight). But no matter, the place where we were sitting was open and not-lock-upable) and the chairs built-in so I let them take the table and everything. But still the waiters hung around. Eventually the signal was becoming really clear so off we toodled.

And as I stepped out of the cave the waiter was half pushing me out the door, so I (wittily, laughingly) said to him, pointing to my butt, "Can you see this bootmark, I'm going, I'm going."

So the next morning after seeing Brokeback Mountain again, in I go to Cappuccino's again, and there is the same waiter again. So he asks me what I was doing there again (these waiters who talk too much!!). So I said I was seeing Brokeback Mountain again. He says (like I care) that he has a girlfriend and he is much more the Caveman type and that he doesn't want to see Brokeback Mountain.

So I waltz out saying that if he wants to stay in his verkrampte cave he can do so, where the air is musty and dank, and his mind can stay the same size that it is. He was walking close behind me, and as I stepped out of the cave I turned and said warningly, 'Uh, uh, careful now, don't step out, your mind could expand."
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