- don't use You statements, use I statements - "You never kiss me!"; "I like it when you kiss me."
- apply tolerance before you speak, remember things are not right or wrong
- accept differences, even if they are fundamental
- be specific about what is a End Type Issue, with yourself
- use the word feedback (bletch! I can translate people!)
- don't attack during times of stress, wait for the right moment
- if someone criticizes you, say "Let me think about that, I will come back to you about that."
- oversensitive people may be hiding from their weaknesses, confident people are more likely to take criticism in their stride
- treat criticism like an opportunity
- the criticiser has to put effort into How they criticize
- engage the help of the criticizer
Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions ... To be fair - it's difficult to think of a non-self-defining feminist woman as anything but a tool of the patriarchy. I have to concentrate on the fact that even though a woman would not call herself a feminist, she would never endorse footbinding (to name a radical example) and it doesn't necessarily mean she is a doormat either. In fact, some of my favorite women scorn my feminism and hate it when they are judged solely on their marital status or gender. Ironically if you look at films made during the so-called liberal 60s and 70s you will see that movies align the woman's role less to what is happening politically in the big wide world and more to what is happening in pornography. The rise of the snuff movie mirrored the rise of violence towards women in the movies, serial killer paradise. Pornography always centers on the woman - probably in an attempt to hide the size of the penis. From my perspective, I am less un...
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