- don't use You statements, use I statements - "You never kiss me!"; "I like it when you kiss me."
- apply tolerance before you speak, remember things are not right or wrong
- accept differences, even if they are fundamental
- be specific about what is a End Type Issue, with yourself
- use the word feedback (bletch! I can translate people!)
- don't attack during times of stress, wait for the right moment
- if someone criticizes you, say "Let me think about that, I will come back to you about that."
- oversensitive people may be hiding from their weaknesses, confident people are more likely to take criticism in their stride
- treat criticism like an opportunity
- the criticiser has to put effort into How they criticize
- engage the help of the criticizer
I don't think 'natural' is good. There are many things that we apply (some almost arbitrary) (some ignorant and backward ideas of natural and not-natural agenda-propagating) rules of morality. I think 'natural' is a political rhetoric, profoundly abused. 'Diversity' is the only defensible rhetoric for 'thinking' beings. We are not, of course, the only creatures that do thinking, but we are the only creatures with the power to oppress others and other creatures whose languages we don't understand. Us (badly) thinking creatures, slowly, ponderously gathering the evidence of our badness (I see no reason for your (god's) patience with us), have the ability to decide to be better than (the fashionable) 'natural' of the day. It is our responsibility to transcend our vileness. Just that. That one task. Our thinkingness I believe is for that. A world (constructed by god) to demonstrate this point. And we will find every rhetor...
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