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Sexual assault

If sexual assault always affects trust, then #AllWomen are walking around with PTSD and trust issues. I for one don't let THE MANY MANY TIMES I have been sexually assaulted and various other crimes (I do live in South Africa) be a guiding factor of my life. I have consciously chosen to trust on purpose. However, only insane people close their eyes while trusting. I don't shy away from trusting, I just make sure that I let people tell me who they are, and then I LISTEN and respond. 
You would be horrified, but I am not. I am NORMALIZED to this level of violence. It's natural. More sheltered people in my country have no clue what it's like to be a fully-engaged and person-on-the-street. You get used to it. Like children in war. It's the thing happening now and then that adds an anomalous punctuation to your life. You can't spend every day crying. The country is economically stuffed so you have to get on with making money, to eat. It makes you more articulate about…
Recent posts

#WhitePriviledge, Why every current generation is responsible for the sins if their forfathers

If your mother and father were horrible to a baby, and years later you met that baby as a ten-year-old would you treat him in a special way? As a 15-year-old? If your neighbour whom you knew did it? The guy down the road. What if your parents sold that baby for bread, and so they did not go hungry, didn't die. Or you didn't go hungry. Where are the cut-off points you are talking about?

Definition of a book

A book is a conduit to the imagination. It takes longer to read than twenty minutes and it is internally connected. A sustained argument-discussion-revelation from many angles. A twisting together of narrative and meta narrative that weaves into a conclusion, even if that conclusion continues out the back door of the book.

Audrey Hepburn and the patriarchy

#Movies ~ Audrey Hepburn. This article takes a positive slant. I love Hepburn, but I don't think much of this article is believable except that most of her films turn her stories about love into stories about prey. Don't get me wrong, I do love the article, I see the old men paired with the teenage-looking and much-younger-in-years Hepburn. I see that she knew that her appearance-compliance as a fashion-window-doll makes (the patriarchy) treat you as a 'lady' ((god) I hate that term so much). I know My Fair Lady embodied that acquiescence to constructed femininity and that I read her end-face to know she knows that as a flower-girl she had her own agency. There are bits in this article perfectly valid. But on the whole I believe that simmering pedophilia and fashion coercion and overt #RapeCulture ruled every movie she was in. I guess this article represents the glass-half-full version the hordes coerce us into displaying. Almost an ironic reflection of Hepburn's …

Interrupting women

There are ten words every girl should learn according to writer Soraya Chemaly -- not vocabulary terms, but critical phrases they can use when their contributions to a discussion are interrupted or discounted. Practicing the phrases such as "Stop interrupting me," "I just said that," and "No explanation needed" will help girls speak them in real life -- and teach both boys and girls that it's not socially acceptable to interrupt or ignore a female voice. Whether in the classroom, in the boardroom, or on the Senate floor, it's time for mighty girls and women to persist and ensure that their voices are heard.

Chemaly points out that, "Globally, childhood politeness lessons are gender asymmetrical... we generally teach girls subservient habits and boys to exercise dominance." As a result, boys and men are more prone to interrupt or talk over another person -- and to firmly prevent someone from interrupting or talking over them -- while gi…

About Bullying

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This sentence, my only interaction on this whatsapp group,  a language classes whatsapp group, about a picture of hearts with twee words about love lasting forever... nothing to do with language.... "Can I ask that we don't post bits and pieces of not-language-learning things. It eats up my bandwidth." This is a clear statement of a boundary suggestion, with a reason. A suggestion phrased as a question. I was told I was a bully. I said to the person who called me a bully... NOT the twee pic poster, that she should investigate what bullying is, politely. And left the group.

I realize people don't have any real idea what bullying is. So I prepared this piece below.

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Asserting your point of view is not bullying. Assertiveness does not mean you will get what you want. It simply helps each party express their desires with an INTENT toward accomplishing a specific goal.

http://www.psychhealthnet.com/tips_assertiveness.htm

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Reverse bullying. The passive aggressive p…