Monday, March 13, 2017

When to tell someone you're dating that you are trans

I say you take 'weird' things in your stride if you like that person - big clitoris, small hands, rabid feminist, looks stupid in a dress, small penis, trans, whatever - those things become part of a range of normal when you love someone. Love renders all the weirdnesses of a person doable. I say let them date, and after a rapport is established you let all the skeletons on both sides out the bag. Then you ask yourself. No third parties, no secrets.

Monday, February 13, 2017

#ReverseRacism is not a thing

#ReverseRacism is not a thing. The goal is to fix racists. By realising the distinction between racism and people violated by racism responding to the racism perpetrated against them I hope that racists will own their racism and cut it out.

When a two year old says "but see what you did to me in response to what I did to you", the original violence seems justified. But it is not. We teach that two year old that the best way to deal with their unjustifiable hatred and bad behaviour is to have empathy - insight into their self-serving behaviour - and to apologise. And to do so sincerely. There is a measure of that sincerity, and that is their behaviour after the apology.

These are basic human interactions.

What I see is White people stomping around muttering under their breath, screaming. Like two year olds who were forced to apologise, and they did so because mommy was going to withhold their dinner and send them to their room.

Total lack of graciousness and empathy.

It's no wonder the world is disgruntled with them.

This isn't about who will be colonised next. This is about us. Now. It's about basic humanity. It's about us being accountable. History will look back and say we should have created a systemic mechanism to divest ourselves of our ill-gotten gains. Like the two year old we should give back the money we stole from Mommy's purse.

It's not up to us to theorize about who will be colonised next. We have an opportunity to make things right and it is slipping away. An opportunity to make our part in tipping the wheel right.

HOW is the question.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

On homosexuality and the command to be fruitful

Aside from the fact that anal sex is practiced at length (Hehe) by heterosexual people. At any one moment in the world trillions of heterosexuals are piercing each other pointlessly.

This planet is groaning under the weight of too many people. Before birth control women generally had 11 and 12 children. How can we educate those amounts on children as husbands, because that amount of children chains mothers breasts to the home, she can't work. How can our poisoned water slake the thirst of so many children. How many animals will have to live under horrific circumstances to feed those children.

THE WORLD HAS CHANGED. The economy cannot support women-as-incubator. Birth is irrelevant. If (god) would not concede that and add a footnote to his bible, he's violent.

People who think that a book written that long ago, is wrapped in a vacuum, are arbitrarily assigning a no-footnote rule to the bible. (god) is screaming 'Footnote required' - your inhumanity to animals cannot be of (god), the climate change (no wonder the bible-people deny it). The violence in our world will come from a shortage of water, do you dismiss what you don't want to hear from (god) as 'from the devil' because the tenth generation and more must live like people lived in a desert thousands of years ago. Go back to your desert, and take your women and babies with you!

Thursday, February 02, 2017

On decriminalizing domestic violence

If women refuse to marry because domestic violence is decriminalized, and surname change is forced, birth control is restricted, abortion is banned, and the 1920s is returned to shackle us, you realize they will have to take away our right to work in order to force us to marry so we can eat. Sexism-patriarchy is a closed system based on women's dependence. If we are forced to have 20 children, we are beggars for their bread.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

#Copyright ~ Cory Doctorow

#Copyright ~ Cory Doctorow​, People who want to buy my stuff must know it exists. Obscurity is the enemy of being paid. Copying solves the 'getting your artistic work to your audience' problem. Families with internet access have better lives on every axis, including nutrition, jobs, education, political engagement.

20 Whatsapp Group Etiquette Rules

1. Just add me. Don't ask if I want to be added. I know where the Exit Group button is.
2. Anonymity is out. Everyone must supply their full name. We're on the group to make contact and share views, make decisions, meetup IRL. If it's anonymous, random names, random numbers, talking is difficult to follow. What is the purpose of group? Networking? As soon as you're added, tell your full name and what you do that is relevant to the group.
3. Harassment. If girls on the group are harassed, what kind of group is it, what kind of men belong? She should Exit Group.
4. No spamming. If admins let spam through, Exit Group.
5. Private conversations in-group are out. If it's not for everyone, take it outside the group.
6. Be succinct and purposeful. Don't use extraneous words. Get to the point. Don't cause more than two dings.
7. Don't expect immediate responses. If I am meeting you, let's meet at your house so you're not staring into space being sexually harassed at the pub. We have lives and won't be texting while driving, sleeping, reading, having sex, communing with friends and lovers, watching movies, working, shopping, writing books and poetry and theses and reports, studying, bathing, taking pets to the vet or park, and any number of other activities.
8. No voice notes. Texting is about being able to quickly see if you need to respond. Voice notes mean I have to step into a quiet spot to listen to you umming and ahing. Call me, then you'll see if I want to listen to that by if I pick up. I don't do Voicemail either, send a text. I’ll answer if I can talk freely.
9. Stick to the topic. Name your group according to content. People who don't stick, should be contacted privately by admins. If you aren't sure if your content is suitable, contact an admin privately to check.
10. Contribute. You were added because someone was interested in your considered opinion.
11. Make more admins based on responsible contributions. Not everyone is a considerate admin. Admins could be spammers or add dozens of irresponsible people to the group.
12. Group size. If members contribute meaningfully and responsibly, groups can grow bigger. Admins can remove people, but that is violent. Private discussions with repeat spammers or unnecessarydingers, should result in removal.
13. Admins have responsibilities. Don't start a group unless you are prepared to admin it, remove people, confront people, guide conversations to the topic.
14. Don't fuss about prompt replies. If you are monitoring if a message has been read and not replied to, you are suffering from a compulsion. Sometimes people have to count to 10 because you sent them an inappropriate message, or they have to exit the loo because someone is hurrying them, or they are scubadiving and have to rise for air. Life happens FIRST, then texting.
15. One photo only if asked for. Because data plans are varied, if you want to send more than one photo, make a sister group with the word photo in the title so that people can open the photos when on wifi.
16. 10pm - 7am no texting. This is a guideline for groups. If you have a one-on-one texting, that's between you two to decide on times.
17. Call-outs are necessary. If someone calls your bad etiquette out by privately messaging you, don't be a baby, don't sulk. Be understanding that anarchy in the group detracts from its purpose.
18. Lurking is acceptable. You can watch the information unfold without having to say 'Gotit', 'Thank you', 'Seeya'. If there are 20 people in the group and everyone says 'Seeya' that's 20 dings. If answers are required, e.g. "How many are coming to my party, I'm arranging catering?" - to reply Click and Hold on the Whatsapp message and scroll to Message (sender), and reply to them individually.
19. Emoji diet. Emoji should only be used if you want to convey tone. Emoji for flowery excesses and artistic expression belong on Facebook.
20. Be nice. Ranting, gossiping, public call-outs, swearing excessively, and trolling are usually eliminated by having to produce your real name. If you can't be nice, be polite, if you can't be polite, Exit Group.

CC Attribution: @fetsiboomsticks Tanya Pretorius

Sunday, January 08, 2017

Feminist hairy armpits, hairiness

Ruth, not sure what you meant by 'and men who shave to please women'. Powerplay is not tit for tat. If a man doesn't shave he becomes all things nice - a bear, a hipster. If a woman doesn't shave she becomes all things vile because she is dissenting - hairy, feminazi, slovenly, stinks. A man's hairy armpit and a woman's hairy armpit don't hold the same social value.

An individual man who shaves something is given a cogent reason - he shaves his legs, ah, he must be a swimmer.

I hesitate to speak about gay men, because I don't belong to that group, but will take the risk because my point is feminist - under gay men there is also a demand for a certain muscled-slim appearance - 'No Fats or Fems' which I feel also diminishes the power of Fats and Fems in relationships - and yet there are men who seek out Chubbies and Fems.

Rare would be the het man openly seeking fat feminist diesel dyke womxn. Despite the restrictive gay appearance culture, gay men still allow a broader range of gender and sexual performance among men than they do women. I believe that it is transparent and normal and cultural to oppress women in this micro(!)aggressive way, by restricting which behaviours are acceptable.

And both men and women do the oppressing. The patriarchy is not a man thing. It's a man thing performed by men and abetted by women.

Wednesday, October 05, 2016

On my atheism

Atheism is the word people use for those who don't believe. I don't study atheism like other atheists do - turning it into a disciple or... religion. I don't see the benefit of any religion, even atheism. But I won't let anyone elevate my non-belief in god to a religion. I don't want to know as little about atheism as Christians do about Christianity and call myself 'atheist' in the way that makes it sound more than an adjective. I am much more interested in Race, Politics, and Feminism. And many other things. I think the focus on religion makes it into something, something it can never be.