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Audrey Hepburn and the patriarchy

#Movies ~ Audrey Hepburn. This article takes a positive slant. I love Hepburn, but I don't think much of this article is believable except that most of her films turn her stories about love into stories about prey. Don't get me wrong, I do love the article, I see the old men paired with the teenage-looking and much-younger-in-years Hepburn. I see that she knew that her appearance-compliance as a fashion-window-doll makes (the patriarchy) treat you as a 'lady' ((god) I hate that term so much). I know My Fair Lady embodied that acquiescence to constructed femininity and that I read her end-face to know she knows that as a flower-girl she had her own agency. There are bits in this article perfectly valid. But on the whole I believe that simmering pedophilia and fashion coercion and overt #RapeCulture ruled every movie she was in. I guess this article represents the glass-half-full version the hordes coerce us into displaying. Almost an ironic reflection of Hepburn's f…
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Interrupting women

There are ten words every girl should learn according to writer Soraya Chemaly -- not vocabulary terms, but critical phrases they can use when their contributions to a discussion are interrupted or discounted. Practicing the phrases such as "Stop interrupting me," "I just said that," and "No explanation needed" will help girls speak them in real life -- and teach both boys and girls that it's not socially acceptable to interrupt or ignore a female voice. Whether in the classroom, in the boardroom, or on the Senate floor, it's time for mighty girls and women to persist and ensure that their voices are heard.

Chemaly points out that, "Globally, childhood politeness lessons are gender asymmetrical... we generally teach girls subservient habits and boys to exercise dominance." As a result, boys and men are more prone to interrupt or talk over another person -- and to firmly prevent someone from interrupting or talking over them -- while gi…

About Bullying

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This sentence, my only interaction on this whatsapp group,  a language classes whatsapp group, about a picture of hearts with twee words about love lasting forever... nothing to do with language.... "Can I ask that we don't post bits and pieces of not-language-learning things. It eats up my bandwidth." This is a clear statement of a boundary suggestion, with a reason. A suggestion phrased as a question. I was told I was a bully. I said to the person who called me a bully... NOT the twee pic poster, that she should investigate what bullying is, politely. And left the group.

I realize people don't have any real idea what bullying is. So I prepared this piece below.

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Asserting your point of view is not bullying. Assertiveness does not mean you will get what you want. It simply helps each party express their desires with an INTENT toward accomplishing a specific goal.

http://www.psychhealthnet.com/tips_assertiveness.htm

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Reverse bullying. The passive aggressive p…

How to have a Pigfest

Pigfest. My favorite kind of party. Thanks for being our hub, Uta. It's not about food although we bring a plate of eats each. It's all about the conversation. You bring a truth statement and everyone talks about it for 15 minutes. You meet everyone, you all talk, you all learn each other's names and ways of thinking. Great to see Ute from Joburg and having a structured time to see my friends and really talk about the stuff they are thinking about.
Duncan Reyburn did a piece about Pigfest recently on his podcast:  Duncan Reyburn's unorthodox Unorthodoxy podcast. "Culture is the sum of conversation" (Aquinas), some oral notes on Pigfest  https://itunes.apple.com/za/podcast/unorthodoxy/id1082106203?mt=2&i=1000385696814


 ...      Thursday's Cat Media Tanya Pretorius072 446 2425      typesetter | trainer | webmaster | writer tanya@thursdayscat.co.za www.thursdayscat.co.za Linkedin

Why Feminists are fat

#Feminism and #FatActivism. The rise of feminism coincides with the drop in blood sugar since you guys had us on salad diets. Makes sense, my mother had me on salad until I was 21. A couple of decades of low blood sugar is bound to piss anyone off.

When to tell someone you're dating that you are trans

I say you take 'weird' things in your stride if you like that person - big clitoris, small hands, rabid feminist, looks stupid in a dress, small penis, trans, whatever - those things become part of a range of normal when you love someone. Love renders all the weirdnesses of a person doable. I say let them date, and after a rapport is established you let all the skeletons on both sides out the bag. Then you ask yourself. No third parties, no secrets.

#ReverseRacism is not a thing

#ReverseRacism is not a thing. The goal is to fix racists. By realising the distinction between racism and people violated by racism responding to the racism perpetrated against them I hope that racists will own their racism and cut it out.

When a two year old says "but see what you did to me in response to what I did to you", the original violence seems justified. But it is not. We teach that two year old that the best way to deal with their unjustifiable hatred and bad behaviour is to have empathy - insight into their self-serving behaviour - and to apologise. And to do so sincerely. There is a measure of that sincerity, and that is their behaviour after the apology.

These are basic human interactions.

What I see is White people stomping around muttering under their breath, screaming. Like two year olds who were forced to apologise, and they did so because mommy was going to withhold their dinner and send them to their room.

Total lack of graciousness and empathy.

It&…