Flying Shortbread

#WhatsappEtiquette 1. Just add me. Don't ask if I want to be added. I know where the Exit Group button is. 2. Anonymity is out. Everyone must supply their full name. We're on the group to make contact and share views, make decisions, meetup IRL. If it's anonymous, random names, random numbers, talking is difficult to follow. What is the purpose of group? Networking? As soon as you're added, tell your full name and what you do that is relevant to the group. 3. Harassment. If girls on the group are harassed, what kind of group is it, what kind of men belong? She should Exit Group. 4. No spamming. If admins let spam through, Exit Group. 5. Private conversations in-group are out. If it's not for everyone, take it outside the group. 6. Be succinct and purposeful. Don't use extraneous words. Get to the point. Don't cause more than two dings. 7. Don't expect immediate responses. If I am meeting you, let's meet at your house so you're not ...

@Lance. The short version is never going to do a short version of the male gaze justice because I'm going to focus on my bits.  When a woman looks out of her eyes she sees a world constructed not-for-her. The constructed world tells her what she is allowed and it's very narrowly what-men-want. It's like looking into a padded cell. This is the world you have been given and there's a universe of controllers ready to control your behavior. As a man you have some strictures, but for women it's a vast minefield.  Much of that world is constructed visibly, but men can't see it because they are inside their male gaze and it looks normal to them, 'natural'. Many of the examples you would have encountered on my wall. Women are hairless. Women can be told what to wear. Women can be paid less for the same work. Jobs become 'women's work'. Women should smell like flowers. Women don't have maternity support in the workplace. These are constru...

Top 10 Mistakes Intelligent Men Make With Women | James Social Coach | Full Length HD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qigOUdAOyRs • if she’s laughing at your jokes • eye contact • touch lightly constantly • look in eyes, then at lips, slowly • interlocking fingers is a kiss test • long hug, breathe as she breathes • find out where she lives • find out what she’s doing tomorrow • find out if her and her friend are drinking • try and draw her away from her friend • ask for a date • do something, don’t not do something • “it’s a gentleman’s job to try to fuck a woman’ must be your mantra • women want someone to sweep them off their feet • women want confidence • confidence comes from knowing what to do • confidence covers uncomfortable moments • energy, be high energy • dress well, then most girls will talk to you • take some time to get into the zone before you suddenly talk to a girl • men think women feel • ditch yo...

Tanya: #NSFTS ~ Not Safe For The Sensitive. #Feminism ~ #WhitePrivilege is like #MalePrivilege. Men don't condemn machismo in all its forms because there are so many benefits for them. A shaven pussy, a shaven leg, a domestic servant, a trophy for hunting. They make no effort to hear #WhenWomenSpeak. They make no effort to entertain the voice of feminism. Instead they watch their pals rape, abuse and call women whores. White Privilege is the same, they don't take the time to hear, to listen, to envelope what they hear and try to change themselves to set a standard for their ivory towers. ... Robert: There are better ways of saying this: There are men who don't condemn machismo in all its forms because there are so many benefits for them. A shaven pussy, a shaven leg, a domestic servant, a trophy for hunting. These men make no effort to hear #WhenWomenSpeak. They make no effort to entertain the voice of feminism. Instead they watch their pals rape, abuse and call wo...

Derailment can happen on all the 'sides' of a discussion, the hard part is facilitating forward motion and 'keeping it clean', i.e. keeping the derailers voiced, fair and not vitriolic. Now we need to turn derailers into some form of ally because derailers become the 'face' of the group. On another comment stream: http://www.blackgirldangerous.org/2013/09/no-more-allies/ #Race ~ #Feminism. #Separatism. #Apartheid. Mary Daly got fired for teaching derailers in separate spaces, sadly, but I always understood why she did it, empathized. I'm in the camp of "white people should shut the fuck up" as a general rule (á la Samantha Vice and Gillian Schutte), except when we are talking to our fellow white people. I don't get it right all the time, but I want to.  On another comment stream: Perhaps by claiming a white space they are acknowledging that white women think feminism is 'good for' black women... CONDESCENDING......

From Evernote: GCS Feminism Relegating racism to 'past' is a failure. Unified condemnation of women, exclusion of women, white women say this and then become part of the patriarchy. Feminism collides with racism. White women charter what racism is. White women position themselves as equal to men. Humanism, women is staged as a universal term, excluding race. Savagery articulated as cultural difference. Human rights, women latched to men by similarity. Difference is a racial Other. Liberalism is coupled with culture, problem. Proscription of actions ignores racial Other. Shapes what practices become Tradition. How can you separate west from anywhere else, how pure is anyone's philosophy. "John Stuart Mill?" Functioning human life "what would make us define something as not human?" Human = masculine = civilization. Reason, logic, conscience, conscious, women try to be reasonable, to be human. = America = universalism. Cho...

I told Eve Ensler my famous Vagina Monologues anecdote, and she asked me to post it to One Billion Rising  and Gillian Schutte asked me to repost it to V-Day . My Vagina Monologue anecdote I have ordered many things from Amazon, and always got everything I ordered... except one thing, Eve Ensler's "Vagina Monologues". I guess they are stealing it at the post office thinking it's porn. There's something delicious about the idea of someone sitting down for a lascivious session exploiting women and getting a big fat dose of feminism. I keep ordering it, over and over, and am still waiting to actually get it. Delicious.

With all of its bustling and agenda setting, the new Democratic majority ought to think about passing an Affirmative Action Resolution for Women in Movies. Madame Speaker, women are more than half the population of this great country, yet onscreen they're an endangered species--the ivory-billed woodpeckers of cinema. Visit your multiplex, and try, just try, to find a movie where women are as plentiful and powerful as men. 300 , the Spartan workout video, has one important female role, of King Leonidas' wife (Lena Headey); that leaves 299 for the guys. In Shooter , the hero-on-the-run gets brief assistance from a young widow (Kate Mara) before returning to his mission of evaporating a million bad guys. Girlish Jon Heder, one of the two skaters in the Will Ferrell hit Blades of Glory , does have a love interest (Jenna Fischer), but Ferrell doesn't--unless it's Heder. Indeed, the one big new movie fully populated with strong women is the "double featur...

Racism and Comedians: I agree with Silverman, there's never a reason to use a slur; and saying a word like 'woman', kinda cuts you off from men, e.g. The women took issue with the men's lascivious ass-slapping. What if it's a question, e.g. Hey, you're a woman, do you wanna make a case against those men for lascivious ass-slapping? Can racial and gender references be interchanged... I dare not give an example. *terrified* :) Great article. "The license to borrow terms other people have taken back can worry even edgy comics. A few months ago, I interviewed (Sarah) Silverman, who argued that her material was not racist but about racism (and I agree). But she added something that surprised me, coming from her: "I'm not saying 'I can say nigger because I'm liberal.' There is a certain aspect of that that I'm starting to get grossed out by. 'Oh, we're not racist. We can say it.'" http://www.time.com/tim...

what it mean to be a 'real' man/woman and the responsibilities that come with these roles • in my culture, we define manhood as a stage where a man is grown up when he reaches 21 years and initiated or go to mountain, and he can get married but still under guidance & care of parents • womanhood is a stage where a girl  reaches 15 years and started to see her period and graduated in an initiation school and she will be called "Khoba" which means a virgin girl ready for the world Real Man is someone who is the King, the head, the president and the leader in his family. As the head is expected to have the following: • He must have the plan for the family (Clear Vision) for his wife and children. He must know how to provide for the family and have policies that he use to lead the family. • He must have the eyes to see the needs of his family. Real Woman is a helpmate who must provide support for her husband to be able to fulfill the role of being a leader int...

My father resigned from his men-only business club because he didn't want to belong to a club that would welcome his son one day, but not his daughter My mom started the longest running feminist film festival in the US I claimed the feminist label because a feminist delivered a lecture in fishnet stockings - acknowledging that beauty is relevant Feministing the most widely read feminist text ever Feministing has political clout You should never judge women who fail to reach their really lofty goals Feminists are working in really difficult environments and their own measure of success is 'daily acts of caring' ACT in the face of overwhelm

strength untamable agility Christ tamed by a virgin (Mary) can only be mounted by virgins will sleep in a virgin's lap, makes it vulnerable to hunters (like, what's she doing... leading it to slaughter, get off your arse woman! Woman are so passive in old texts... %$%$#%$#^#) chaste love faithful marriage neutralize poison shown in heraldry with broken collar, that it has been taken, but will not be again

I'm interested in racial politics, I'm interested in how to make the situation better between the races. I am interested in sexual politics. I find my eyes drawn to those group dynamics. The rolling of your eyes when I say the word 'men' or 'black' is controlling me - you are saying that because your interests are different to mine, or because you believe one should never say these words, that I may not speak of the things that interest me. Go to your house and do what you want. If it weren't for women like me, you would not know that infibulation starts with shaving. ... Cinnamon Gurl sparked this off. Thanks. Each week the Flashback Friday: Feminist Edition will feature a story that has something to do with being or becoming a woman or feminist. This series will continue until I run out of stories. I love having guest bloggers. If you have a story you want to tell and you want to be a guest blogger here, please email me ( fetsiboomsticks@gma...

• anything a man can do, I can fix • You're teaching my son how to be a woman father says to mother, mother replies, Someone has to. • before the war in Rwanda the word for rape and the word for marriage was the same word

Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions... The short version of the story so far: School had a fake prom and sent Ceara Sturgis - the lesbian - and disabled students - to the fake prom while parents organised a secret offsite prom and invited the rest of the student body; left her out of the yearbook despite the fact that she is an honors student (drug dealers are in the yearbook); tortured, marginalised, stigmatised . I think the morality of the hatemongers that would do these things to Sturgis is questionable. They think they are standing up against a declining morality. I think the hatemongers are the leaders of the decline. They think that their children will not be gay because they fear the reaction of their parents. I think the hatemongers' children will be fearful and gay. They think they are standing up for God's word. I think the hatemongers are the definition of what God does not want. They think they are showing their children what is right. I think the...

Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions... Fetsiboomsticks at Flying Shortbread invited me to write a post for her blog, and may I just say, I was so flattered!  I have never been asked to be a guest writer in someone's blog, and maybe I'm being dramatic, but it's an honor.  :-)  So here's my story for her, and a thanks. This is something that has just really been made painfully aware to me recently, and makes me feel very thankful for how far we've come.  Yes, we still have quite a journey ahead, but hey, at least we're moving in the right direction.  I have a friend, T.  T is 47 years old, and I have been doing her hair for about 2 years (I'm a hairstylist).  I have recently gone into business for myself, and left the salon where I was working, and am now going to my client's homes to do their hair. You wouldn't believe how many of my clients have COMPLETELY opened up to me about their lives since I have started seeing them at home, ...

Before ... President Jacob Zuma, before he was elected, said that "When I was growing up, unqingili (homosexuals) could not stand in front of me. I would knock him out." He later apologised for the remark. The insult ... Lulu Xingwana, Arts and Culture Minister, stormed out of the exhibition, Innovative Women, before making a scheduled speech, saying, "Our mandate is to promote social cohesion and nation-building. I left the exhibition because it expressed the very opposite of this. It was immoral, offensive and going against nation-building." She went on to say it was time for "a long overdue debate on what is art and where do we draw the line between art and pornography." Afterward ... Although Xingwana denies this, three insiders told The Times that after the department’s lawyers found nothing pornographic about the art, she then called in lawyers from a Pretoria law firm to “inspect” the work. Insiders said they were flown to Cape Town for the open...

To be a man means not to be a girl Being a girl is so powerful, that we have to train... everyone... not to be that. My father asked me not to cry while he was beating me, because somehow it exposed to him his own brutality Bullets are hardened tears Get girls to change the verb from 'to please' to 'to create', 'to defy',  'to change'... ' to anything'. By doing this we can get her to change the girl inside her. "I know when the coconut is about to fall" "I love, love, love, being a girl"

Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions... When women-haters die, not a peep, but when a woman who defended the right of women to have man-free spaces dies (translation in women-hater speak - man-hater), then there's a big hooha. At least Mary Daly didn't exploit men as sex slaves, as work slaves, rape, abuse and snuff them. And if you look closely, you will find she pointed at women too, the ones who were used to uphold and disseminate the patriarchy in families - she tried to make women aware that they were being used to enact the patriarchal exploitation tools - footbinding, infibulation, so many. Like you. Who are 'infibulating' her. ... Cinnamon Gurl sparked this off. Thanks. Each week the Flashback Friday: Feminist Edition will feature a story that has something to do with being or becoming a woman or feminist. This series will continue until I run out of stories. I love having guest bloggers. If you have a story you want to tell and you want to...

"All my bones shake" - book "Getting off" - book Background - feminism - hierarchies become visible (race - see US as an empire), is a rebel - finds our 'left' more open and integral, was academic, now writes for public, doesn't like how academia works and formulates ideas, defected from TV, open to being facebooked. Q What analysis have you been doing about SA? US still patriarchal and racist and full of sexual violence therefor not post-patriarchal, not subtle, secular discussions obsess about physical differences, psyche differences between W&M. All the indicators have racial overtones - wealth, childbirth, etc. US is white supremacist society. Superior European knowledge used to analyse. Q How does that play out in storytelling - or the mass media?  Guides how we think - society brainwashes us, what are the underlying commonalities? (Objectivity) - actually trying to hide politics. How does the news cover sex assault - 1 in 5 will report...