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Showing posts from 2017

Sexual assault

If sexual assault always affects trust, then #AllWomen are walking around with PTSD and trust issues. I for one don't let THE MANY MANY TIMES I have been sexually assaulted and various other crimes (I do live in South Africa) be a guiding factor of my life. I have consciously chosen to trust on purpose. However, only insane people close their eyes while trusting. I don't shy away from trusting, I just make sure that I let people tell me who they are, and then I LISTEN and respond. 
You would be horrified, but I am not. I am NORMALIZED to this level of violence. It's natural. More sheltered people in my country have no clue what it's like to be a fully-engaged and person-on-the-street. You get used to it. Like children in war. It's the thing happening now and then that adds an anomalous punctuation to your life. You can't spend every day crying. The country is economically stuffed so you have to get on with making money, to eat. It makes you more articulate about…

#WhitePriviledge, Why every current generation is responsible for the sins if their forfathers

If your mother and father were horrible to a baby, and years later you met that baby as a ten-year-old would you treat him in a special way? As a 15-year-old? If your neighbour whom you knew did it? The guy down the road. What if your parents sold that baby for bread, and so they did not go hungry, didn't die. Or you didn't go hungry. Where are the cut-off points you are talking about?

Definition of a book

A book is a conduit to the imagination. It takes longer to read than twenty minutes and it is internally connected. A sustained argument-discussion-revelation from many angles. A twisting together of narrative and meta narrative that weaves into a conclusion, even if that conclusion continues out the back door of the book.

Audrey Hepburn and the patriarchy

#Movies ~ Audrey Hepburn. This article takes a positive slant. I love Hepburn, but I don't think much of this article is believable except that most of her films turn her stories about love into stories about prey. Don't get me wrong, I do love the article, I see the old men paired with the teenage-looking and much-younger-in-years Hepburn. I see that she knew that her appearance-compliance as a fashion-window-doll makes (the patriarchy) treat you as a 'lady' ((god) I hate that term so much). I know My Fair Lady embodied that acquiescence to constructed femininity and that I read her end-face to know she knows that as a flower-girl she had her own agency. There are bits in this article perfectly valid. But on the whole I believe that simmering pedophilia and fashion coercion and overt #RapeCulture ruled every movie she was in. I guess this article represents the glass-half-full version the hordes coerce us into displaying. Almost an ironic reflection of Hepburn's …

Interrupting women

There are ten words every girl should learn according to writer Soraya Chemaly -- not vocabulary terms, but critical phrases they can use when their contributions to a discussion are interrupted or discounted. Practicing the phrases such as "Stop interrupting me," "I just said that," and "No explanation needed" will help girls speak them in real life -- and teach both boys and girls that it's not socially acceptable to interrupt or ignore a female voice. Whether in the classroom, in the boardroom, or on the Senate floor, it's time for mighty girls and women to persist and ensure that their voices are heard.

Chemaly points out that, "Globally, childhood politeness lessons are gender asymmetrical... we generally teach girls subservient habits and boys to exercise dominance." As a result, boys and men are more prone to interrupt or talk over another person -- and to firmly prevent someone from interrupting or talking over them -- while gi…

About Bullying


This sentence, my only interaction on this whatsapp group,  a language classes whatsapp group, about a picture of hearts with twee words about love lasting forever... nothing to do with language.... "Can I ask that we don't post bits and pieces of not-language-learning things. It eats up my bandwidth." This is a clear statement of a boundary suggestion, with a reason. A suggestion phrased as a question. I was told I was a bully. I said to the person who called me a bully... NOT the twee pic poster, that she should investigate what bullying is, politely. And left the group.

I realize people don't have any real idea what bullying is. So I prepared this piece below.


Asserting your point of view is not bullying. Assertiveness does not mean you will get what you want. It simply helps each party express their desires with an INTENT toward accomplishing a specific goal.


Reverse bullying. The passive aggressive p…

How to have a Pigfest

Pigfest. My favorite kind of party. Thanks for being our hub, Uta. It's not about food although we bring a plate of eats each. It's all about the conversation. You bring a truth statement and everyone talks about it for 15 minutes. You meet everyone, you all talk, you all learn each other's names and ways of thinking. Great to see Ute from Joburg and having a structured time to see my friends and really talk about the stuff they are thinking about.
Duncan Reyburn did a piece about Pigfest recently on his podcast:  Duncan Reyburn's unorthodox Unorthodoxy podcast. "Culture is the sum of conversation" (Aquinas), some oral notes on Pigfest

 ...      Thursday's Cat Media Tanya Pretorius072 446 2425      typesetter | trainer | webmaster | writer Linkedin

Why Feminists are fat

#Feminism and #FatActivism. The rise of feminism coincides with the drop in blood sugar since you guys had us on salad diets. Makes sense, my mother had me on salad until I was 21. A couple of decades of low blood sugar is bound to piss anyone off.

When to tell someone you're dating that you are trans

I say you take 'weird' things in your stride if you like that person - big clitoris, small hands, rabid feminist, looks stupid in a dress, small penis, trans, whatever - those things become part of a range of normal when you love someone. Love renders all the weirdnesses of a person doable. I say let them date, and after a rapport is established you let all the skeletons on both sides out the bag. Then you ask yourself. No third parties, no secrets.

#ReverseRacism is not a thing

#ReverseRacism is not a thing. The goal is to fix racists. By realising the distinction between racism and people violated by racism responding to the racism perpetrated against them I hope that racists will own their racism and cut it out.

When a two year old says "but see what you did to me in response to what I did to you", the original violence seems justified. But it is not. We teach that two year old that the best way to deal with their unjustifiable hatred and bad behaviour is to have empathy - insight into their self-serving behaviour - and to apologise. And to do so sincerely. There is a measure of that sincerity, and that is their behaviour after the apology.

These are basic human interactions.

What I see is White people stomping around muttering under their breath, screaming. Like two year olds who were forced to apologise, and they did so because mommy was going to withhold their dinner and send them to their room.

Total lack of graciousness and empathy.


On homosexuality and the command to be fruitful

Aside from the fact that anal sex is practiced at length (Hehe) by heterosexual people. At any one moment in the world trillions of heterosexuals are piercing each other pointlessly.

This planet is groaning under the weight of too many people. Before birth control women generally had 11 and 12 children. How can we educate those amounts on children as husbands, because that amount of children chains mothers breasts to the home, she can't work. How can our poisoned water slake the thirst of so many children. How many animals will have to live under horrific circumstances to feed those children.

THE WORLD HAS CHANGED. The economy cannot support women-as-incubator. Birth is irrelevant. If (god) would not concede that and add a footnote to his bible, he's violent.

People who think that a book written that long ago, is wrapped in a vacuum, are arbitrarily assigning a no-footnote rule to the bible. (god) is screaming 'Footnote required' - your inhumanity to animals cannot …

On decriminalizing domestic violence

If women refuse to marry because domestic violence is decriminalized, and surname change is forced, birth control is restricted, abortion is banned, and the 1920s is returned to shackle us, you realize they will have to take away our right to work in order to force us to marry so we can eat. Sexism-patriarchy is a closed system based on women's dependence. If we are forced to have 20 children, we are beggars for their bread.

#Copyright ~ Cory Doctorow

#Copyright ~ Cory Doctorow​, People who want to buy my stuff must know it exists. Obscurity is the enemy of being paid. Copying solves the 'getting your artistic work to your audience' problem. Families with internet access have better lives on every axis, including nutrition, jobs, education, political engagement.

20 Whatsapp Group Etiquette Rules

#WhatsappEtiquette 1. Just add me. Don't ask if I want to be added. I know where the Exit Group button is. 2. Anonymity is out. Everyone must supply their full name. We're on the group to make contact and share views, make decisions, meetup IRL. If it's anonymous, random names, random numbers, talking is difficult to follow. What is the purpose of group? Networking? As soon as you're added, tell your full name and what you do that is relevant to the group. 3. Harassment. If girls on the group are harassed, what kind of group is it, what kind of men belong? She should Exit Group. 4. No spamming. If admins let spam through, Exit Group. 5. Private conversations in-group are out. If it's not for everyone, take it outside the group. 6. Be succinct and purposeful. Don't use extraneous words. Get to the point. Don't cause more than two dings. 7. Don't expect immediate responses. If I am meeting you, let's meet at your house so you're not staring into space be…

Feminist hairy armpits, hairiness

Ruth, not sure what you meant by 'and men who shave to please women'. Powerplay is not tit for tat. If a man doesn't shave he becomes all things nice - a bear, a hipster. If a woman doesn't shave she becomes all things vile because she is dissenting - hairy, feminazi, slovenly, stinks. A man's hairy armpit and a woman's hairy armpit don't hold the same social value.

An individual man who shaves something is given a cogent reason - he shaves his legs, ah, he must be a swimmer.

I hesitate to speak about gay men, because I don't belong to that group, but will take the risk because my point is feminist - under gay men there is also a demand for a certain muscled-slim appearance - 'No Fats or Fems' which I feel also diminishes the power of Fats and Fems in relationships - and yet there are men who seek out Chubbies and Fems.

Rare would be the het man openly seeking fat feminist diesel dyke womxn. Despite the restrictive gay appearance culture, ga…