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Elizabeth Lesser: Take "the Other" to lunch

  • Martin Luther King - I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be
  • Mother Theresa - The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of the family to small
  • We give too much voice to the most divisive amongst us
  • Book titles reflect this - Pinheads and patriots; Arguing with idiots
  • Negative otherizing morphs into violent extremism
  • Counteracting otherizing A strategy: Take the other to lunch
  • Agree on some ground rules - ahead of time
  • Be conversational, don't persuade, interrupt, be curious, listen, be real, don't try to change the other side, acknowledge that it's a first step
  • What issues concern you, what have you always wanted to ask someone from the other side
  • Two people dropping the pretence of being know it alls
  • Two people practicing ubuntu
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About Bullying

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...

Asserting your point of view is not bullying. Assertiveness does not mean you will get what you want. It simply helps each party express their desires with an INTENT toward accomplishing a specific goal.

http://www.psychhealthnet.com/tips_assertiveness.htm

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