Flying Shortbread

To be a man means not to be a girl Being a girl is so powerful, that we have to train... everyone... not to be that. My father asked me not to cry while he was beating me, because somehow it exposed to him his own brutality Bullets are hardened tears Get girls to change the verb from 'to please' to 'to create', 'to defy',  'to change'... ' to anything'. By doing this we can get her to change the girl inside her. "I know when the coconut is about to fall" "I love, love, love, being a girl"

There's an expiry date on blaming your parents on sending you in the wrong direction. When you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you. Failure strips you of pretence, and you can see yourself clearly. This is a kind of freedom. You can count your blessings. You find your have friends, and you appreciate their value  Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia. We collude with violence with our apathy.

How lucky am I? My mother, Marion Pretorius, was my mentor. She taught me to say "No", and she taught me to say "Yes". To say "No" when people wanted to take advantage of me, and to create opportunity for good things to enter my life by saying "Yes". "Yes" makes room for you to have all sorts of experiences, to learn, and to grow your confidence. All sorts of confidence count as tickmarks. Confidence answering the phone. Confidence organising a function. Confidence using an email program. Confidence using... confidence doing... confidence making... confidence speaking... confidence in action. And as the pile of tickmarks grows, so does confidence. Erick Mulaudzi Humbulani asked.

A repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" will only allow those gays and lesbians who are already in the military to quit hiding. The (guys) in the military are already showering with gay (men). This is not about ALLOWING gays into the military, if you make a law that says 'you may not' then people will just find a more ingenious way of doing it secretly.

Australia Austria Belgium Canada Czech Republic Denmark Estonia Finland France Germany Ireland Israel Italy Lithuania Luxembourg Netherlands New Zealand Norway Slovenia South Africa Spain Sweden Switzerland UK Uruguay

Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions... When women-haters die, not a peep, but when a woman who defended the right of women to have man-free spaces dies (translation in women-hater speak - man-hater), then there's a big hooha. At least Mary Daly didn't exploit men as sex slaves, as work slaves, rape, abuse and snuff them. And if you look closely, you will find she pointed at women too, the ones who were used to uphold and disseminate the patriarchy in families - she tried to make women aware that they were being used to enact the patriarchal exploitation tools - footbinding, infibulation, so many. Like you. Who are 'infibulating' her. ... Cinnamon Gurl sparked this off. Thanks. Each week the Flashback Friday: Feminist Edition will feature a story that has something to do with being or becoming a woman or feminist. This series will continue until I run out of stories. I love having guest bloggers. If you have a story you want to tell and you want to...

"All my bones shake" - book "Getting off" - book Background - feminism - hierarchies become visible (race - see US as an empire), is a rebel - finds our 'left' more open and integral, was academic, now writes for public, doesn't like how academia works and formulates ideas, defected from TV, open to being facebooked. Q What analysis have you been doing about SA? US still patriarchal and racist and full of sexual violence therefor not post-patriarchal, not subtle, secular discussions obsess about physical differences, psyche differences between W&M. All the indicators have racial overtones - wealth, childbirth, etc. US is white supremacist society. Superior European knowledge used to analyse. Q How does that play out in storytelling - or the mass media?  Guides how we think - society brainwashes us, what are the underlying commonalities? (Objectivity) - actually trying to hide politics. How does the news cover sex assault - 1 in 5 will report...

Of Death and Conscience: Brief thoughts on gender role and the values of the dominant culture in medicine : "“Under the influence of the Church and the newly formed male-dominated medical establishment, the word “witch,” which originally meant “wise one,” became a term of scorn. It took a reign of terror lasting several hundred years to radically alter a way of life thousands of years old. Millions of women who carried the healing lineage were systematically killed (see The Church and the Second Sex by Mary Daly).”"

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about. 4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed. 5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask. 6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement. 7. All gifts accepted - money is always good. 8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged. 9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business. 10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies. 11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended. 12. No extra clothing - I don't ...

Dog people need unconditional love. Cat people can accept conditional love.

Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions... Joan McGregor “It should be noted that normally we do not let others exploit an incapacitated person and take advantage of their condition.” Adrienne Rich "The assumption that ‘most women are innately heterosexual’ stands as theoretical and political stumbling block for many women. It remains a tenable assumption, partly because lesbian existence has been written out of history or catalogued under disease; partly because to acknowledge that for women heterosexuality may not be a ‘preference’ at all but something that has had to be imposed, managed, organized, propagandized and maintained by force, is an immense step to take if you consider yourself freely and ‘innately’ heterosexual. Yet the failure to examine heterosexuality as an institution is like failing to admit that the economic system called capitalism or the caste system or racism is maintained by a variety of forces, including both physical violence and false consci...

Doing anything remotely interesting will bring criticism. Attempting to do anything large-scale and interesting will bring armies of detractors and saboteurs. This is fine – if you are willing to take the heat. There are good reasons to be willing, even eager. Colin Powell makes the case: pissing people off is both inevitable and necessary. This doesn’t mean that the goal is pissing people off. Pissing people off doesn’t mean you’re doing the right things, but doing the right things will almost inevitably piss people off. Understand the difference. Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off. Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It’s inevitable, if you’re honorable. Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you’ll avoid the tough decisions, you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you’ll avoid offering differential rew...

"This programme contains topics that unfortunately won't be disturbing to INSENSITIVE viewers."

It is about forcing or imposing the gay/lesbian community's will and morality on people who believe it contradicts their morality. And once it has the power of law behind it, it will eventually foster things like forcing ministers, priests, rabbis, etc., to officiate at these "weddings," or their churches/synagogues lose their tax status and worse. Sort of like Catholic medical schools that, for a period of time not that long ago, were mandated to teach abortion or lose their accreditation, forcing medical students of conscience who wanted to have an accredited degree to be seriously affected. It's about the terminology that this powerful lobbying force thinks it needs, which is chillingly similar to the sanitizing language change imposed on us by the abortion lobby in 1973; e.g., "fetus" for unborn baby, "eliminate tissue" vs. kill a child, etc. Source: Seacoastonline.com

This has to be urban legend, because if this story is true, it's no wonder Facebook cares very little for our privacy and has coercive policies that benefit third-party application owners over users. The coercive element is the element where in order for me to maintain my privacy, I would have to have a Facebook profile that no one could see. That defeats the purpose. So when I make a friend, I accept their ignorance about the risk that they have exposed me to through the applications they have on their profile. I have none, but their applications have access to all the information they have access to. So if my friend can see that I am married, so can all the applications they have. So in order for me to participate, I HAVE TO ACQUIESCE to the privacy abuse. And yes, it is my choice. Thanks. :{ HISTORY OF FACEBOOK Facemash Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook in his Harvard dorm room. Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, 2003 while attending Harvard as a sop...

“So the more radical the innovation, the more the uncertainty; the more you need innovation in use to work out what a technology is for. Our entire approach to patents and invention is based on the idea that the inventor knows what the invention is for; we can say what it’s for. It will be worked out in use , in collaboration with users . So, you’re in a big corporation; you’re obviously keen to go up the corporate ladder. Do you go into your board and say, look, I’ve got a fantastic idea for an embryonic product in a marginal market, with consumers we’ve never dealt with before, and I’m not sure it’s going to have a big payoff, but it could be really, really big in the future? No, what you do, is you go in and you say, I’ve got a fantastic idea for an incremental innovation to an existing product we sell through existing channels to existing users, and I can guarantee you get this much return out of it over the next three years. Big corporations have an in-built tendency to reinf...

A community parade - based on something totally arbitrary and not activist oriented. Something that will let the community have fun with each other. A dress up parade. The Bowler Hat Parade. The African Mask Parade. The Angel Parade. The Zebra Stripe Parade.

sex work is openly selling sex for money advertising industry sells sex for money, how come sex work is criminalised we all sell sex, we spend money on vaginal rejuvenation, breast reconstruction, buying boots, we are buying to lure sex, giving out money to get sex decriminalize just during the 2010 World Cup, says Jackie Selebe. Dr Eve says this is outrageous, sexist, usury, insulting (I do too) consenting adults caller blames family breakups on sex workers... (not on the men who go to sex workers), the man chooses to go to a sex worker, he chooses to betray his wife sex workers are doing an honest day's work, why focus on them

when women are silent, it's the silent treatment; when men are silent; they are thinking men have to be coddled - women must say please hold my hand, please take me out, please hold me don't leave (erhhh.... I know he is saying understand each other and change your behaviors for each other, but really! On the other hand, thanks to Dan, I always say - communicated!) stress hormones make men sleep, don't make women sleep stressors have to be 8 times more serious for men to react to a thing as a 'problem' - men look at them as if they are mad when they get stressed out over small things menopause is much more difficult nowadays because of all the stress, take oxytocin getting men to listen - 'Honey, just talk to me for five minutes.' If you put a end time on it, they are more likely to be engaged while doing it.

don't confront the in-law directly, have to do it through the spouse respect does not mean submission, you can be assertive without being confrontational have boundaries from the beginning in-laws should not expect to be supported by the family consider that the couple's decisions are their own and should be respected both sides should consider what their expectations are, and delete them