Skip to main content

Booty call rules

  1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
  2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
  3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
  4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
  5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
  6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
  7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
  8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
  9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
  10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
  11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
  12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
  13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.
  14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
  15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
  16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
  17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
  18. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
  19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
  20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

Source: Facebook group
Labels:

Comments

Post a comment

Popular posts from this blog

Facebook behaving badly

So I signed Avaaz's petition to ask Facebook to clean up their act or else I will delete. Wryly. I do believe that instead of saying, "But you Dumb Fucks (that's what Zuckerberg calls us, you can check, those are the actual words) signed our terms and conditions" that the focus shouldn't fall on the victim. "You wanted to get raped, you came to the bar." The onus, the responsibility lies on the powerful to behave better. There's never an onus to behave with honor, with respect, with humanity.

#RapeCulture

Anyway, I tried to get people to leave and come with me to GooglePlus. "But my friends aren't there." I ran a campaign to tell people that I'm not connecting apps to Facebook because the apps demand access to my friends' accounts. My friends still didn't come to GooglePlus.

The irony is I don't care about the data thing. Have my data. When I do something they don't like - be a loud fat ugly hairy man-hating dyke…
Post a comment
Read more

Poem: I have biracial hair by Zora Howard

See the performance on YouTube

I have bi-racial hair
Pantene Pro-V waves on the top
Easy to style, comb, rock-
Until-I encounter my naps,
I’m not talking about those-cute detangle with the spray naps.
I’m talking about those, slave naps, like,
No comb, brush, or man can handle the kind of naps I got- like,
No way you are touching my hair-naps like
Back 10 feet up, or we can dance naps
Those naps like-
DAMN!
I have bi-racial hair,
Those smooth and silk rafts hanging all through my mane,
Until you get to the back, and encounter the jungle, in which you can find Tarzan and Jane.
In the front you forget and relax in the pleasure,
Until you get to the back and remember pain
Baby hair slicked back with that good 4 dollar pomade,
That goes with roots and tangles,
Soaked with that same olive oil; mixed with that spaghetti sauce momade.
I have bi-racial hair,
Combs run freely through my fine breezy, just to the part, the most you can make,
Until it gets to the back and
Breaks.
I have bi-raci…
Post a comment
Read more

Sexual assault

If sexual assault always affects trust, then #AllWomen are walking around with PTSD and trust issues. I for one don't let THE MANY MANY TIMES I have been sexually assaulted and various other crimes (I do live in South Africa) be a guiding factor of my life. I have consciously chosen to trust on purpose. However, only insane people close their eyes while trusting. I don't shy away from trusting, I just make sure that I let people tell me who they are, and then I LISTEN and respond. 
You would be horrified, but I am not. I am NORMALIZED to this level of violence. It's natural. More sheltered people in my country have no clue what it's like to be a fully-engaged and person-on-the-street. You get used to it. Like children in war. It's the thing happening now and then that adds an anomalous punctuation to your life. You can't spend every day crying. The country is economically stuffed so you have to get on with making money, to eat. It makes you more articulate about…
Post a comment
Read more