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'Lady' vs 'Dyke' and how I 'became' a lesbian

Flashback Friday, a column on feminist notions...

Many of my friends had such a big cadenza over being gay. I had absolutely none. I never had the notion that it was not OK and more importantly I never had the notion that anyone could tell me what I could and could not do or be. The Cheek!

My sister didn't have to go to Daddy and say, Gee Dad, I am sorry, I am straight, why must I go to Daddy and say, Gee Dad, I am sorry, I am gay. Ag nee man!

But my friends definitely suffered. And I have participated in Masters degree surveys and the girls definitely were surprised that I don't have issues. I am generally a confident person. No issues about being fat, or hairy, or butch or whatever. Shame, poor you, you probably just had a frisson of disgust. Yes, girls have hair... and it's OK you don't have to sleep with them. Giggle.

I think it may be harder for guys, no pun intended. Girls' lesbianism is considered a latent sexuality, 'It's OK, once they have a good f*ck, they will recover from this childishness and have hands-free vaginal orgasms....' Nonsense. I hope my plain speaking doesn't freak you out.

Guys sexuality is considered an active decision/choice that they make and it's an active sexuality. And sodomy. People who focus on the sodomy of course don't realise that straight people do it too and girls do it to boys, it's all over.... And just like girls aren't allowed to masturbate, boys aren't allowed to give people free access to their prostate. The prostate and the clitoris are the most neglected organs in the universe, with the prostate being the king of the Ignored Hill.

I am a bit different from my friends though, because I am also a feminist, so don't take what I say and generalise it to all grrls.

Grrls, dykes, lesbians, womyn, women - love it. Not wild about 'lady' except as a description of behaviour - She behaves like a lady, She is a lady, She wants to be a lady, She can never be a lady. Not wild about 'gay' except as a description - she is gay, she is straight. But for some reason I associate The gays are playing with the toys as The boys are playing with the toys. Same with 'homos'. But as words 'gay' and 'homo' don't bug me.

I am not really bugged by any of it, except 'lady'. When I hear that word I become a terrier and grip the word and shake my head from side to side trying to mash the word into bits. Which is where they get the grr in Grrls.

Cinnamon Gurl sparked this off. Thanks. Each week the Flashback Friday: Feminist Edition will feature a story that has something to do with being or becoming a woman or feminist. This series will continue until I run out of stories. I love having guest bloggers. If you have a story you want to tell and you want to be a guest blogger here, please email me; or feel free to link to your own story in the comments.


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