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My 21s lists, revisited

Some 21s lists that I made up, more at my website

21 ways to get over being dumped
  1. Go on a wild kissing spree
  2. Arrange a dinner party every Friday night from then on
  3. Stop talking about it, eventually you will kill the synapse that used to think about it
  4. Take up a new sport or exercise routine
  5. Join a club
  6. Start a club
  7. Write a book about what to do to get over being dumped - not one of those new age things, a horror where your ex dies in the end
  8. Hunt down someone the complete antithesis of your ex, and flirt outrageously
  9. Start a new business, something you have always wanted to do - or at least take the first step.
  10. Make a list of all the things your ex prevented you from doing, and do all of those things - every day.
  11. Dump your boring old therapist that got you into this mess, and get a new one.
  12. Take a trip to a white beach
21 most obnoxious famous people
  1. Tom Cruise
  2. Anthony Quinn
  3. Clark Gable
  4. George Bush
  5. Mel Gibson
21 ways to lose weight
  1. Sweat and Starve - exercise and eat less (the real way)
  2. Three Spoon Diet - only eat 3 spoons of food at each of 6 meals per day
  3. The Pink Diet - (thanks Mariah Carey) only eat food that is pink
  4. The Atkins Diet - only eat protein
  5. The Beverley Hills Diet - eat as much of one thing (anything) as you want and wait 3 hours untill the next meal.
  6. The Oprah Diet - get a trainer to get you up at 05h00 for weight training, jogging and personalised body attention. Get a chef to make only the most nutritious calorie controled gorgeous food. Don't eat after 19h30.
  7. The Tapeworm Diet - swallow a tapeworm
  8. The YoYo Diet - binge and starve until your body gets diabetes, and then mismanage the diabetes, commit suicide when your toes and fingers go gangrenous
21 famous people you are allowed to sleep with (without your partner getting mad should you ever be lucky enough to meet them (Friends, was 5)
  1. Robert Downey Junior (The Pick-up Artist)
  2. Tom Hanks (You've got Mail)
  3. Ellen (anytime)
  4. Meg Ryan (City of Angels)
  5. Chris Noth (Sex in the City)
  6. Liv Ullman (Forty Carats)
  7. Goldie Hawn (Butterflies are Free)
  8. Susan Sarandon (The Hunger)
  9. Harrison Ford (Star Wars)
  10. Jennifer Aniston (Along Came Polly)
  11. Ben Stiller (Along Came Polly)
  12. Julia Roberts (My Best Friends Wedding)
  13. Hugh Grant (Four Weddings and a Funeral)
  14. Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback Mountain)
  15. Al Pacino (Bobby Deerfield)
  16. Ingrid Bergman (Indiscreet)
  17. Marilyn Monroe (How to marry a Milionnaire)
  18. Jodie Foster (The Little Girl who lives Down the Lane)
  19. Oliver Reed (Women in Love)
  20. Robert de Niro (Taxi Driver)
  21. James Dean (Rebel Without a Cause) 
21 reasons same-sex marriages will ruin society (12, I know)
  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour, just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours,
    the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female rolemodel at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.


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